What's My Age Again?
by JustBecauseImAwesome
Summary: Gordon Coffee No Jeff Complete Chaos on Tracy Island. Extremely crazy, if you know what I mean. The boys learn an important lesson: NEVER. GIVE. GORDON. COFFEE. It should be considered a capital crime in all 50 states and Puerto Rico.


_**A/N: No idea where this came from. WARNING: Extremely Crazy. Nothing else to say. **_

* * *

**What's My Age Again?**

**General POV**

_**Tracy Island **_

_**July 13, 2020**_

_**10:48 AM (HAST)**_

"Alright! Who gave Gordon the coffee!" Scott yelled.

"Not me!" Virgil yelled.

"Not I!" Alan yelled in agreement.

"As soon as this is over, whoever told him where the coffee was is getting fried by Thunderbird 1!" Scott yelled at his brothers.

"Is that before or after you fry Gordon!" Virgil yelled, ducking just as an orange Nerf dart flew over his head.

"After!" Scott yelled. And no one doubted he would.

* * *

_**20 Minutes Earlier,**_

Gordon strolled into the kitchen, looking for something to wake him up. The Tracy boys were alone on the island, since Jeff was in New York, Kyrano and Onaha were in Hawaii, getting supplies, and Brains was on Thunderbird 5, performing its bi-yearly maintenance with John. So it was Scott, Virgil, Gordon, Alan, Tin-Tin and Fermat. The last two in the list were somewhere on the island, getting a much desired break from the Tracy's. Gordon glanced in the fridge, but nothing caught his eye. He looked around the large kitchen, and his eyes fell on the coffee maker. He was not normally allowed to have any of it, because his brothers said it had "negative effects" on him. But what would one cup hurt? And conveniently, someone had left one of those plastic containers on the counter, half full. Gordon immediately set to work making the caffeinated drink, and as soon as it was done. He poured himself a cup. Not caring about any possible side effects, he downed the whole cup in less than a minute.

* * *

_**1 Minute Later,**_

Scott and Virgil froze, hearing a cacophony of noises erupting from below them. They both rushed to the panoramic window of their dad's office and both gasped. The Ford eX was driving in a wide circle around the pool, knocking over patio furniture without any regard for safety. Their brother Alan had dived into the pool to save himself from being impaled by the vehicle. A moment later, however, the red dune buggy changed course, and headed straight for the pool. Alan, in a panic scrambled to the edge, and pulled himself out just in time for the Ford to crash into the larger pool, sending a ten foot wave flying up, drenching the surrounding area and Alan. Completely drenched, Alan broke into a run, heading for the villa, not wanting to stick around his older brothers craziness. A moment later, Gordon surfaced, showing no signs of injury. Scott and Virgil exchanged glances, before breaking into a panicked run that would shame an Olympic medalist.

* * *

Alan scrambled into the living area of the Tracy home just as Gordon tore past him, headed deep into the bowels of Tracy Island. But Alan didn't care. He was worn out. Scott and Virgil ran down the stairs and nearly collided with Alan. Scott grabbed Alan's shoulder's, and checked the younger boy for injuries. Just as he was about to let go, Virgil's cell phone rang. Without thinking, Virgil answered it. "Hello?" A moment later, Virgil hung up, an angry expression on his face.

"What?" Scott asked.

"Gordon prank called me," Virgil answered. Scott and Alan couldn't resist breaking in to full blown laughter.

"That's-" Alan didn't get to finish his sentence, because at that _exact _moment, they heard another large splash. They all exchanged glances, and were about to rush to their dad's office, but just as they were about to move, a yellow form popped up in the water past the pool.

"He didn't," Scott said.

"That's impossible," Alan added.

"How did he do the launch sequence so fast?" Virgil asked rhetorically. Just as he did, the yellow submarine activated its land jets and started climbing the rocks at the end of the island.

"Say, isn't there a laser on Thunderbird 4?" Alan asked.

"Yeah," Scott responded.

"Then shouldn't we be running?" Virgil asked.

"He's not crazy enough to-" A red laser beam flew over their heads and impacted the area above their dad's office. "Run!" Scott yelled, and they ran towards the fish tank, running around it, headed towards their dad's office.

* * *

"Alright. What do we know, what do we have, and what are our objectives?" Scott asked, pacing the floor of the now sealed Command and Control Center. Virgil was sitting against his picture on the wall, while Alan was sending a short message to their dad and Kyrano not to return to the island until further notice. They had also contacted Tin-Tin and Fermat by their watches and told them to hide in the jungle. While not safe in the slightest, it was safer than being hit by Thunderbird 4's laser. Which Gordon seemed to be enjoying quite a bit, if the security cameras were anything to go by.

"Oh no," Alan said, very quietly.

"What?" Scott asked.

"He's left 4, and he's uh...uh..." Alan stammered.

"What?" Virgil asked, moving towards his younger brother.

"Uh, remember that blank box that came in the mail a couple weeks back?" Alan asked.

"Yeah. That thing was huge? Why?" Scott asked, confused.

"Well, Gordon and I ordered a whole bunch of Nerf guns, and we kind of set up a small fortress in the game room," Alan somehow managed to explain, and the room fell silent.

"That explains so much," Virgil said, to no one in particular, while shaking his head.

"So what do we do?" Scott asked. Alan shrugged.

"Its impenetrable. He has water and food, so just waiting for him to come out won't work," Alan explained.

"Can we overpower him somehow?" Scott asked.

"No. There's a _lot _of firepower in that room. We have the most awesome setup ever," Alan said, grinning, proud of his accomplishment.

"Like..." Virgil trailed off, waving his hand in the air to emphasize his point.

"Three belt fed automatic Vulcan's, each connected to a motion sensitive trigger, and nearly 5 of every other product they ever made. But that's beside the point. The Vulcan's are our biggest threat. He can only use 2 at a time past that." Alan explained.

"So what do we do?" Scott asked.

"If I could get close enough, I could tranquilize him long enough to get him to the infirmary. But how?" Virgil said, questioning his brothers.

"What of we cut the power to the room? Would they shut off?" Scott asked. Alan shook his head.

"They run on batteries. 6 D's each, and he's got enough batteries to last a very long time."

"What were you guys planning to do anyway?" Virgil asked, not able to contain his curiosity any longer. Alan glanced up at his brothers, and shook his head.

"Doesn't matter. But I think we should exploit his mental weakness," Alan suggested.

"What?" Scott asked.

"Water," Alan explained.

"The Sprout may be right," Virgil said.

"Of course I am," Alan said. "And don't call me Sprout."

* * *

_**Present Time, **_

"So what exactly did we do wrong!" Virgil yelled.

"I think we misjudged just how much those things hurt when you remove the restrictor spring!" Alan yelled back.

"Got that right," Scott mumbled to himself. A giant rocket flew past his head, barely missing his head, before hitting the wall and leaving a large dent. "Alan! When this is over! You and Gordon are so dead!"

"I think we made that clear!" Alan shouted back. Somehow, Gordon had passed out, but the Vulcan's were still firing, kept on by their motion activated sensors. And somehow, Gordon had figured out a way to put a motion sensor on one of the Nerf Bazooka things, and without any restriction, those _hurt, _as Alan had learned.

"So what do we do!" Virgil yelled.

"Maybe if we detonated an EMP!" Alan suggested.

"Execute!"

* * *

_**4 Hours Later, **_

"Tracy 1 to Tracy Island," Jeff said, bringing the small blue plane in for a landing. "Tracy 1 to Tracy Island," He repeated, getting no response. He decided to do a fly over of the island, and was very disappointed at what he saw. Thunderbird 4 was in the open, sitting on the beach. The Ford eX was in the pool, large amounts of rubble had fell from the mountain, and the shutters were shut on his office, meaning the Command Center was activated. Jeff, going against his training, brought the plane in for a landing without clearance, and as soon as he was down, he scrambled from the plane, searching for his sons. His first thought was to go to his office, but he stopped when he saw the thousands of orange Nerf darts on the ground around the game room. "What the-"

"Dad!" He heard his middle sons voice, and looked up to see him running towards him, with Tin-Tin close behind.

"Virgil! What happened! Where is everyone?" Jeff questioned, worried. "And I thought I said _not _to destroy the island while I was gone!"

"Well, my parents went to Hawaii to get supplies," Tin-Tin started.

"And Brains and John are on Thunderbird 5," Virgil continued.

"And Scott, Alan, and Gordon are in the infirmary," Tin-Tin finished.

"What! Why!" Jeff yelled, scared. Virgil and Tin-Tin took deep breaths, and Virgil answered.

"Someone let Gordon have coffee."

* * *

**_A/N: Yeah. Whatever. It was mostly a distraction from 3 pesky multi chapters I've been trying to write. Please Review, Stay Real. _**


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